Step #1 was to find their leader and see what all of the hoopla was about.  Maybe knowing who they'd chosen as their leader would
give us some insight regarding their ability to distinguish reality from fantasy.  I think we solved that mystery.  Elvis?  I don't think so!
Step #2 was to find out what they really think about themselves.  Now, I don't know where you went to school, but look closely at
this picture.  Where I'm from, two fingers held in the air signifies #2, NOT #1.  So, it appears they actually do know their place!
Step #3 was to
walk around the
USC campus and
set the record
straight.






Unprepared, but
undaunted, Karen
whips out her
Clinique lipstick
to fashion a
celebratory sign
and hold it up
proudly in front
of the Tommy
Trojan statue.
A true believer in recycling, Karen decides NOT to discard the
emollient-smeared placard.  Instead, she posts it in a
prominent place on the student bulletin board for all to see.  
Do you think it's still there?
Step #4 was to return home to the place where football is king... the home of the genuine #1 football power in the nation.
If you've never been to a football game in Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge, LA... then you've never been to a football game!
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The Real USC Story:  A first-hand view of the facts - you be the judge!
Our correspondents went to Los Angeles, checked out the situation to see how the Trojans measured up to our Tigers.  We read the
USC propaganda and are now reporting the facts.  While there, we made a few adjustments of our own to set the record straight!